Side Quest Stories: Psychosis in Their Own Words - Episode 2: Eric
Editor's Note
This transcript has been lightly edited for clarity, readability, and flow. Repetitions, filler words, and transcription artefacts have been removed while preserving the speaker's intended meaning and perspective. Based on an interview conducted for Side Quest Stories: Psychosis in Their Own Words.
Introduction
In the second episode of Side Quest Stories: Psychosis in Their Own Words, I speak with Eric, a Canadian mental health advocate who reflects on seven years of living with psychosis, psychiatric treatment, and recovery.
Eric describes the onset of his first episode at eighteen, his experiences of mania and psychosis, and the questions that emerged in the aftermath. Rather than viewing psychosis solely through a medical lens, he discusses how exploring different cultural, spiritual, and philosophical perspectives helped him make sense of what happened.
Our conversation explores recovery, purpose, identity, stigma, and the importance of finding meaning after difficult experiences.
Key Themes
First episode psychosis
Mania and altered states
Recovery and resilience
Meaning and purpose
Identity after diagnosis
Medication and mental health
Spiritual and cultural perspectives
Growth through adversity
Selected Quotes
"Psychosis was the most transformational thing that's ever happened in my life."
"Recovery is more than medication. It's purpose, meaning, relationships, health, and how you choose to see yourself."
"You have to chase purpose and meaning like your life depends on it."
Transcript
Introducing Eric
Dr Oli: Welcome to Episode Two of Side Quest Stories: Psychosis in Their Own Words, a podcast where I ask every guest the same questions and largely stay out of the conversation. Not because I agree with everything that's said, but because the aim is to understand how different people make sense of their experiences in their own terms. My role is to hold the conversation, not resolve or evaluate it.
We're here with Eric. How would you like to introduce yourself?
Eric: My name is Eric. I'm twenty-five years old and I live in Canada.
In terms of mental health and psychosis, I was eighteen when I was first hospitalized and diagnosed following a first episode of psychosis.
The last seven years of my life have largely been about navigating mental health, psychiatry, medication, identity, and everything that comes with those experiences. I've gone through multiple episodes of psychosis and spent a lot of time trying to understand what happened to me and what it means.
Where Did Your Story With Psychosis Begin?
Dr Oli: Where does your story with psychosis begin?
Eric: For me, it begins at eighteen.
The starting point was cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome, which is a condition where your body begins reacting very badly to cannabis use. For me, it involved severe nausea, dehydration, and repeated episodes of vomiting.
From there things escalated into mania, and eventually my first psychotic episode.
That was the beginning of my journey with psychosis, but in many ways it was also the beginning of a much deeper journey of trying to understand the mind.
Ever since that first episode, I've struggled to accept simple explanations for what happened. The experiences themselves were so profound. The emotions were incredibly intense. The visions, hallucinations, and altered states felt deeply significant at the time.
Whether people choose to describe those experiences as hallucinations, delusions, altered consciousness, or something else, they left a lasting impression on me.
The experience fundamentally changed the way I think about reality. It made me want to learn more about the brain, consciousness, and the kinds of states human beings can enter.
That curiosity has stayed with me ever since.
What Is Psychosis To You?
Dr Oli: What is psychosis to you?
Eric: I don't think I view psychosis in the same way that psychiatry often does.
The traditional explanation—that you're psychotic, you're experiencing delusions, you're out of touch with reality—never completely satisfied me. It never answered the questions I was asking after my experiences.
Because of that, I've spent a lot of time exploring other perspectives. I've looked at different cultures, traditions, and historical approaches to altered states of consciousness.
What interests me isn't only what psychosis is, but how societies respond to people who experience it.
One response is to pathologize people, label them, and see them primarily through the lens of illness.
Another response is to recognise that human beings have always entered unusual states of consciousness and that people going through those experiences deserve understanding, care, and support.
I've always felt more drawn to the second perspective.
That's not to deny that psychosis can be frightening or disruptive. It absolutely can be. But I've never been comfortable with the idea that someone's entire identity should become defined by a diagnosis.
For me, psychosis has always seemed bigger and more complicated than that.
I think the meaning people take from these experiences often depends on the narrative they adopt afterward. The stories we tell ourselves about what happened matter.
What Does Recovery Mean To You?
Dr Oli: What does recovery mean to you?
Eric: Recovery is a complicated word.
The first thing many people think about is medication, and I do think medication can be part of recovery. It's one piece of the puzzle.
But I don't think it's the whole puzzle.
When I look back on my own recovery, the biggest factor wasn't medication. It was my mindset.
I never wanted to see myself as a victim of what happened. I never wanted to define myself entirely by a diagnosis or see myself as permanently damaged.
Recovery became about rebuilding my life.
That included looking after my physical health, exercising, spending time in nature, improving my diet, and developing healthier habits.
It also involved things that aren't always discussed in clinical settings: spirituality, creativity, friendships, relationships, meaning, purpose, and having things to look forward to.
I think all of those things contribute to recovery.
The challenge is that many systems focus primarily on symptoms and medication. If one medication doesn't work, another is tried, and then another after that.
Meanwhile, many of the other dimensions of recovery receive far less attention.
For me, recovery was about building a life that felt worth living.
That takes effort. It takes persistence. But I think those broader aspects of health are just as important as any medication.
What Does Being Well Mean To You?
Dr Oli: What does being well mean to you?
Eric: Being well means feeling connected.
It means not feeling isolated or separate from other people because of what you've been through.
It's about being comfortable in your own skin.
It's about having meaningful things in your life—things you care about, people you care about, and activities that make you feel engaged with the world.
I think wellness is less about the complete absence of difficulty and more about feeling at home in your own life.
What Do People Get Wrong About Psychosis?
Dr Oli: What do people get wrong about psychosis?
Eric: I think people often get the entire narrative wrong.
One example I often think about is how differently people respond to altered states depending on where they come from.
If someone takes ayahuasca, mushrooms, or another psychedelic and talks about unusual visions, insights, or experiences, many people are curious. They want to hear the story.
But if someone describes unusual experiences that occurred during psychosis, the reaction is often very different.
The same kinds of questions and reflections can suddenly become frightening or unacceptable.
I've always found that contrast interesting.
I think psychosis is often viewed exclusively through a lens of pathology, whereas other altered states are sometimes viewed through a lens of exploration, spirituality, or personal growth.
My own experience has led me to see psychosis differently.
I often tell people that psychosis was the most impactful thing that has ever happened to me.
That doesn't mean it wasn't difficult. It doesn't mean it wasn't frightening at times.
But it was profoundly transformative.
It changed the way I see the world. It challenged assumptions I held about reality, identity, and life itself.
In many ways, it forced me to grow.
So when people ask what they get wrong about psychosis, I think one answer is that they often assume there is only one way to understand it.
I don't believe that's true.
How we interpret these experiences matters enormously.
What Advice Would You Give To Others?
Dr Oli: What advice do you have for others about psychosis?
Eric: The first thing I'd say is not to live in constant fear.
If every day is spent worrying about relapse, worrying about symptoms, and worrying about what might happen next, it becomes very difficult to enjoy life.
Fear has a way of shrinking the world.
Part of recovery is learning to loosen your grip on that fear.
The second thing I'd say is to take seriously the things that affect your mental state.
For me, that includes substances like cannabis and anything else that significantly alters consciousness.
There were periods of my life when I didn't fully appreciate how much some of my behaviours were contributing to my difficulties.
Looking back, I wish I'd taken that more seriously sooner.
The final thing—and probably the most important thing—is to find purpose.
Find something that matters to you.
Find something that pulls you forward.
After experiences like psychosis and hospitalization, it's easy to become trapped in endless reflection about symptoms, diagnoses, trauma, and what happened in the past.
But if all your attention stays there, it's difficult to move forward.
Purpose creates movement.
It doesn't have to be something grand. It can be an interest, a passion, a relationship, a creative pursuit, a career goal, or a cause you care about.
Ask yourself what you think about all the time.
What excites you?
What do you wish you could spend more time doing?
Follow those things.
Chase purpose and meaning like your life depends on it.
Because in many ways, it does.
Final Reflections
Dr Oli: That's an amazing way to close the episode. Thank you so much. That's the end of the questions.
Eric: Awesome.
Dr Oli: Thank you so much for being here. I'll stop the recording and check in with you afterwards.
Eric: No worries. Thank you for having me.
About Side Quest Stories
Side Quest Stories: Psychosis in Their Own Words is a series of conversations exploring lived experiences of psychosis, recovery, meaning, and mental health in participants' own words.
The series brings together diverse perspectives on psychosis, creating space for reflection, dialogue, and understanding beyond simple explanations or single narratives.
Explore more episodes in the series as they are published.
